He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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