On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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