This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
