yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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