remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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