First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He is an equal opportunity slut.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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