grandma shit on top of the toilet
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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