OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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