I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
