i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
