Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
