I think my fart just growled at me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
