ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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