Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
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I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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