did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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