Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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