Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Houston, we have a blender
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize