great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
