u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
