I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
