porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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