Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
