Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
