I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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