I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
