We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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