Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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