I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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