some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
