she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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