A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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