Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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