I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
