i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
