I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize