Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
