we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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