All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
