You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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