So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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