we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
