hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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