Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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