The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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