Pappa wants mamma naked
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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