The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
