I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
