i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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