doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
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apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary