Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men