oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
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Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
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Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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