I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
