he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
