Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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