You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
