i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
