Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I am morally bankrupt
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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