I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize