I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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