is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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