if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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