wat bout pragnant strippers??
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
