its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
