Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume

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(763): View more from Minnesota

pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap

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(817): View more from Texas

In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.

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