thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
