She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
