I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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