You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
