But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
