i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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